Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
