he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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