I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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