Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
