Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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