is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
