"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
