Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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