Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
