One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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