is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
