I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
