I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
