I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
