need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
that may or may not have been my penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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