i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
