I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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