i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
