bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
