You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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