the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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