Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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