So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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