Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
