his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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