Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
