Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
