it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
