I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
