I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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