I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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