i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
