I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please don't give away my fajitas
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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