her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
