how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
