drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
