Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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