can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
