I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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