i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I want a musical about memes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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