I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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