Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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