can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
