the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
