Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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