Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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