If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
