You can't motorboat a personality
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
