I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
