fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
