the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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