Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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