Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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