He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
