Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
