So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
