the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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