i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
