Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
